Archie: To Riverdale and Back Again (1990)
You may have noticed that this one's late. Here's the thing. This movie was...so mentally draining, both to watch and talk about, that our initial recording of it was just completely unusable. Outside of the fact that the levels were fucked, neither of us had anything to really say about anything and it largely amounted to Mark just running through every plot point as fast as possible. So we had to do a second take on this episode, this time approaching it like a regular Dic show...except we still somehow fucked the levels. So in this great™ episode, Avery sounds a bit too loud whilst Mark sounds as if he's sitting further away from the microphone than usual. We deeply pologize for the awkward sound quality of our new recording set up, it turns out there are a lot more problems and variables to factor in when you introduce a secondary microphone. Bare with us through these teething stages, and hopefully we'll get to a point where it somehow sounds BETTER than before.
Anyway, by the fact that I've just written a paragraph of text and none of it has to do with the movie in question, you can probably insinuate that we have very little to say about this thing. It's...just bad. None of the characters are themselves; Archie is a bit of a jerk, Jughead somehow has not only a job as a Psychiatrist, but also an ex-wife and a kid which he's inexplicably been left in custody of...and then there's Big Ethel whose meeting with Jughead is hyped up for half the movie only for her to inexplicably be a Baywatch beach babe type and also used as a joke for a mere two scenes. It's bad, it made us miserable, and we're sorry to inflict that on you.