Edgar Saves Christmas
Once upon a Christmas Eve, lil seven year old Danny passed out on the couch, waiting for Santa. But Danny had a plan. He'd taken a butcher knife from the kitchen of his new step father's mother's house, hiding it under the couch for when the house was invaded by a foreign entity with godlike powers. If Santa was real, Danny didn't like the surveilance. He didn't appreciate home invasions, and he'd heard if a stranger breaks into your house, then killing them is not legally murder. So when Santa came down the chimney, he'd get stuck until he dropped, and Dan would be made for life. He'd gain enough money from selling Santa's toys to buy a small country. When his step father's dad walked in and placed presents around the tree, Danny pretended to sleep, and one single tear rolled down his little cheek, as he knew he was cursed to live of relative poverty, and obscurity in a world that he despised. He knew from that day forward that the American dream, of striking it rich while doing very little was a lie.
When lil Danny's new Grandmother found the knife under the couch at the next family get together, she mentioned this to him. She said she wouldn't dare even speak of what she found under her couch. He denied everything. It's no wonder she never liked him.